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All possible plots by major authors (2020)

128 points6 hoursthe-fence.com
riwsky3 hours ago

#All possible codebases by major programmers

Linus Torvalds: you take a week-long swing at a problem you find annoying, fascinating, or both. The result enjoys staggering worldwide success in the ensuing decades, despite being clearly outclassed by some alternative from the GNU project that, pinky promise, is coming out any day now.

Grace Hopper: BEGIN a framework that powers critical government functions, AND has secretly saved America from mass destruction time and again, only to be dunked on by Reddit for trivial matters of syntax END.

John Carmack: Doom, but better-looking.

Brendan Eich: you take a week-long swing at a problem your employer finds commercially compelling. The result enjoys staggering worldwide success in the ensuing decades, despite being clearly outclassed by the prior art it was supposed to build on.

ashton3143 hours ago

Fabrice Bellard: A problem with several competing solutions catches your fancy. Within a week you have a gleaming, state-of-the-art solution that is flexible, reliable, and extensible—all written in pure, efficient C. Everyone begins to build on your work.

Donald Knuth: While writing your magnum opus, a minor irritation arises. You invent a new subfield of computing and spend two years developing a highly idiosyncratic language and tool system.\footnote{And several new typefaces!} Your irritation dissipates and you go back to work with your writing. Generations of academics curse your creation but have nothing better to work with. They wonder if they can get Fabrice Bellard to take a crack at it…

mp053 hours ago

> Brendan Eich: you take a week-long swing at a problem your employer finds commercially compelling. The result enjoys staggering worldwide success in the ensuing decades, despite being clearly outclassed by the prior art it was supposed to build on.

Pretty brilliant, right? Right?

grotorea2 hours ago

I would like to quote the creator of Dogecoin:

> In reply to that, Mr Markus was asked whether he had considered energy usage when creating the cryptocurrency.

> “i made doge in like 2 hours i didn’t consider anything,” he wrote.

riwsky2 hours ago

Please forgive my JavaScript joke: it’s really just a poorly-written series of callbacks.

tzs2 hours ago

Jack Woodford, a decent pulp writer in the first half of the 20th century who also wrote several books on writing and on how the publishing industry works, including "Trial and Error" in 1933 which Robert Heinlein and Ray Bradbury both cited as a major influence in getting their writing careers started, had a nice description of how to plot:

> Boy meets girl; girl gets boy into pickle; boy gets pickle into girl

jkaptur5 hours ago

Every New Yorker short fiction: our protagonist, a slightly dislikable person, suffers from a medium-high amount of ennui.

vharuck4 hours ago

Terry Pratchett: A visionary on the Discworld invents something vaguely like a modern object or industry. That invention enslaves the visionary and must be stopped by a crotchety old person who hates change.

bombcar47 minutes ago

He had a few variations on that where the invention is adapted and adopted by the crotchety olds.

nfw22 hours ago

To summarize Dan Brown books by describing the characters fundamentally misunderstands them. The characters are about as important as the characters in a porno.

The point of a Dan Brown book is to chart the stupidest possible path through history and pop science, and he's uniquely capable of this.

sramsay32 minutes ago

Stephen King: A character wonders if, given all the suffering recently endured over the last few hundred pages, life is nonetheless still worth living. This character is killed by an entity which, despite all appearance and reputation, is permanently and inexplicably murderous.

wanderer23234 hours ago

Wodehouse: Titanic forces beyond your control such as scheming aunts, accidental engagements, and inability to express your feelings threaten to irrevocably ruin your life forever. It’ll take a Machiavellian mastermind and a series of unlikely coincidences to extricate you from this predicament but you’ll have to pay a price.

They really didn’t do Wodehouse justice in the OP

bombcar10 minutes ago

They also restricted themselves to a subset of his stories; branch out beyond Jeeves and you find the school stories, the social commentary, and more.

From 50,000 feet they do look somewhat similar, but they're not.

asimovfan3 hours ago

how could they.. its impossible

caseyy18 minutes ago

Andy Weir: Your indomitable human spirit has gotten you far. Now in the face of overwhelming odds, you will need to show resilience and science the shit out of your situation.

fallinditch4 hours ago

Albert Camus: Alone and isolated you grapple with the absurdities of existence. And who the f*k are you?

HanClinto4 hours ago

Michael Crichton: Humanity employs raw hubris and technological advancement for a close-encounter with non-humanity. Chaos ensues.

HanClinto4 hours ago

The above was written by hand. As an experiment, I asked Claude to generate a few dozen more. Most weren't great. Here are the highlights:

Michael Crichton:

You're a brilliant scientist who's just created something that will revolutionize the world. Congratulations! It's now trying to eat you.

Michael Crichton:

You've stumbled upon a conspiracy involving [insert scientific field]. Now you're being chased by [insert government agency] while trying to explain complex scientific concepts to the reader.

Suzanne Collins:

You must choose between two brooding love interests while simultaneously overthrowing a totalitarian regime. Priorities!

Stephen King:

Welcome to small-town Maine, where the biggest threat isn't the weather, it's the [insert supernatural horror]. Don't worry, a writer will save the day.

Neil Gaiman:

Mythology crashes into modern life. You're either a god who's fallen on hard times or a regular person about to have a very weird Wednesday.

Margaret Atwood:

Society has taken a slight turn for the worse. Women are now [insert dystopian scenario]. This is definitely not a commentary on current events.

And perhaps my favorite:

George Orwell:

Big Brother is watching you. So is your toaster. And your pet. Trust no one, especially not the pigs.

Out of 30 generations, there were a few more that made me smile, but these were the main ones I enjoyed. Something I've noticed with statistical content generation is that it has a difficult time not being too "on the nose" -- almost like next-token-prediction is making it want to rush and get to the punchline a little too quickly. It has a hard time being subtle, and too often it felt like it was just a glib little summary of a story, rather than a sardonic take-a-step-back-and-look-at-the-big-picture sort of approach.

No major revelations, but just barely interesting enough to warrant commenting here. If there were a Dull Men's Club version of Hacker News, I would have posted this there.

anigbrowl4 minutes ago

[delayed]

PlunderBunny4 hours ago

A link to "All Possible Plots II" [0] would have been better, because it includes everything in "All Possible Plots I"

[0] https://www.the-fence.com/all-possible-plots-ii/

HanClinto4 hours ago

Depending on the referrer URL, you may or may not be hit with a paywall.

https://archive.ph/h2y0R

dzink1 hour ago

Every social network: you make something for your friends and end up with viral growth immediately or after years of nothing. You spend the rest of your days policing trolls, spammers, and scammers trying to abuse or hijack the network. You or someone in marketing send out too many spammy notifications abusing user trust and users block your notifications. Nobody shows up anymore and network dies.

Every rom-com: Boy meets girl and they have good times. Somebody messes up. They have a fight. The get back together again.

Every Hallmark movie: Big city girl ends up in small town by coincidence. While decorating for Christmas she falls for the small town guy and decides to stay. (The productions get cheaper by the year, so where they had scenery you now see people talking in front of a blurry background for 90% of the plot. )

w-m4 hours ago

Or mix together your own plot, by combining any of the tropes in the "Periodic Table of Storytelling": https://jamesharris.design/periodic/

wwilim4 hours ago

Stephen King: you'll know better than to FAFO after I tell you what happened in Maine a few decades ago.

tptacek2 hours ago

To do King justice you have to capture some kind of on-the-nose allegory (alcoholism, childhood trauma, the existential dread of one's musical tastes being classifiable as dad-rock, the Cold War), and it can't be about the corruption and decline of small-town New England, which is everpresent. Yog-Sothoth should make an appearance.

YeGoblynQueenne29 minutes ago

Both articles (there's a sequel) read like not bad flash fiction.

ChocMontePy4 hours ago

I need an "Every possible comment by Hacker News users"

thechao4 hours ago

Having just found out about topic X, and thought about it for 30 seconds, I have strong advice for the world's expert about an edge case they forgot for solutions to topic X.

sseagull3 hours ago

Man Feels Like He Gets Gist Of Enlightenment After First Few Minutes Of Hearing Zen Monk Talk

https://theonion.com/man-feels-like-he-gets-gist-of-enlighte...

duneisagoodbook4 hours ago

I didn't read the article, but--

gherkinnn3 hours ago
FactKnower692 hours ago

bizarre fixation on china huh

nojs2 hours ago

I am very disappointed this stopped

kreyenborgi5 hours ago

All possible trees by major forests

tehnub1 hour ago

Pithy and absolutely correct

jfvinueza3 hours ago

Funny, thanks. This is another very fun one in the same spirit:

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/what-your-favorite-sad-d...

teraflop3 hours ago

Reminds me of "Book-A-Minute" (http://www.rinkworks.com/bookaminute/) from yesteryear.

Most of the entries are for specific books, but there are also some authors mentioned, e.g. "The Collected Works of Dean Koontz": http://www.rinkworks.com/bookaminute/b/koontz.shtml

Vedor2 hours ago

"A Scanner Darkly" entry [0] is my favorite so far. Somehow, it's wildly accurate.

[0] - http://www.rinkworks.com/bookaminute/b/dick.scanner.shtml

karaterobot2 hours ago

Whoooa, what a blast from the past. I loved that site, but I bet I haven't been there in 15 years. It seems their most recent update was just last week.

farmeroy2 hours ago

I want an author who's work is completely unidentifiable from one release to the next. Or to find a dozen authors who have inconceivably and independently created identical manuscripts. Surely if there were a library with all possible books, we would find one of those two things...

dsr_2 hours ago

Not exactly, but Walter Jon Williams keeps switching genres successfully:

- Napoleonic sea fighting

- early cyberpunk (Hardwired)

- middle cyberpunk around the Solar System (Voice of the Whirlwind)

- late cyberpunk post-scarcity space opera(Aristoi)

- transhuman space opera (Implied Spaces)

- New Mexican police procedural / thriller (Days of Atonement)

- near future thrillers (This Is Not A Game and sequelae)

- fantasy of city infrastructure (Metropolitan and City on Fire)

- comedy of manners (the Drake Maijstral trilogy)

- Fall of the Space Roman Empire (Dread Empire's Fall series)

- Medieval fantasy (Quillifer and sequelae)

and a Giant Disaster novel, a Zelaznyesque SF mystery, and a Star Wars work-for-hire.

There's enough there for five separate authors to make marks on the field.

npilk2 hours ago

Sounds like you'd be interested in the short stories of Jorge Luis Borges - your comment brings Pierre Menard to mind.

ashton3143 hours ago

Brandon Sanderson: scrappy protagonist discovers that they have magical powers, despite struggling from crushing depression and/or trauma. This annoying guy named Hoid smirks at everyone. The next weekend they accidentally trigger the end of the world, which they prevent in the nick of time by becoming a god.

jcheng23 minutes ago

Brandon Sanderson: Spacebar activates your special movement ability, F activates your special attack, watch your power meter--and don't miss the cutscene at the end of the final boss fight!

(From someone who loves Brandon Sanderson)

dullcrisp12 minutes ago

100% accurate except for the “or.”

ethbr14 hours ago

>> Dan Brown -- Award-winning author Dan Brown has written a complicated role for you with his expensive pen. You are a humanities professor at an Ivy League university, but also, somehow, in mortal peril. Your love interest is picturesque but ill-mannered and French. This is somehow worth several million dollars.

Kafka seems low-effort though. I humbly substitute:

You have inside you an extraordinary writer but are instead employed at the postal service, where you spend the rest of your days watching your first manuscript submission mistakenly misrouted back across your desk.

w-m4 hours ago

Don't make fun of renowned author Dan Brown!

> Renowned author Dan Brown woke up in his luxurious four-poster bed in his expensive $10 million house – and immediately he felt angry. Most people would have thought that the 48-year-old man had no reason to be angry. After all, the famous writer had a new book coming out. But that was the problem. A new book meant an inevitable attack on the rich novelist by the wealthy wordsmith’s fiercest foes. The critics.

> Renowned author Dan Brown hated the critics. Ever since he had become one of the world’s top renowned authors they had made fun of him. They had mocked bestselling book The Da Vinci Code, successful novel Digital Fortress, popular tome Deception Point, money-spinning volume Angels & Demons and chart-topping work of narrative fiction The Lost Symbol.

> The critics said his writing was clumsy, ungrammatical, repetitive and repetitive. They said it was full of unnecessary tautology. They said his prose was swamped in a sea of mixed metaphors...

https://onehundredpages.wordpress.com/2013/06/12/dont-make-f...

farmeroy2 hours ago

I clicked on this link with one of my two index fingers and felt the joy of a person feeling enjoyment

switch0073 hours ago

Oh man this made me laugh out loud wheezing. Thank you!

> He reached for the telephone using one of his two hands

lol

nfw24 hours ago

You are a humanities professor at an Ivy League university, but also, somehow, in mortal peril. Your love interest is picturesque but ill-mannered...

This is also true of Indiana Jones, which everyone likes.

bryanrasmussen4 hours ago

Indiana Jones taught at Marshall College, I hardly think that qualifies as Ivy League. What a disappointment to his father that guy was.

jl64 hours ago

Hacker News: Apple launches data center on a stick, and boy does Elon Musk have an opinion about that (14879 comments)

NBJack2 hours ago

HN comments, N levels deep: The subtle mention of a largely tangential but controversial topic is important to me. Here is an eight-paragraph thinly-veiled diatribe on why you are wrong.

caseyy59 minutes ago

A condemning argument against your diatribe, based largely on my personal definition of a loaded term your diatribe used.

NBJack49 minutes ago

A snippy comeback that isn't remotely as clever as I thought it was. I am now quoting every other sentence of your reply as I try to both double down on my point and furiously back-pedal my use of the term.

caseyy27 minutes ago

A performative personal attack, disguised as helpful suggestion; revealing that the purpose of my engagement was never a serious discussion, but only making myself look good. The use of a semicolon tastefully solidifies my position as a very smart commenter.

ryandrake4 hours ago

...re-written in Rust.

bryanrasmussen4 hours ago

It would have better through-put if it were rewritten in Elixir, I would do it in Erlang but I find the syntax less appealing.

jebarker3 hours ago

It's OK though, since throughput considerations don't matter as hardware is so fast now and your boss just wants you to get the thing shipped

globalise833 hours ago

So long as it doesn't have leaky abstractions, it passes muster.

caseyy1 hour ago

Unrelated comment about the politics surrounding Elon Musk.

Also, a comment that misses the point of what was said, but performatively appears to challenge it.

Followed by a comment roughly identical to ones made by several green accounts, made by a green account.

netcoyote2 hours ago

William Gibson: You are an adequate but drug-addled hacker, navigating dangerous, high-tech worlds where blurred realities, conspiracies, and corporate power struggles force you to uncover hidden truths, survive against powerful forces, and ultimately question the nature of identity, technology, and control.

Neal Stephenson: You are a small cog in a historical epic leading to a far-flung speculative future, where you grapple with the complexities of technology, cryptography, and philosophy, as well as incidentally discovering the best way to eat Captain Crunch cereal.

schlauerfox2 hours ago

New Neal Stephenson out today, looking forward to more of that formula, we'll see.

karaterobot2 hours ago

They could have had an entry for McSweeney's that just said "the text of this article".

rKarpinski5 hours ago

"thomas hardy

Lies, lies, misery, lies, suicide, rape, and corn prices."

So true

ljsprague33 minutes ago

This also makes you think his book would be depressing to read but I've read the Mayor of Casterbridge and I would call it joyful. Odd.

anthk48 minutes ago

Cervantes: hipster idealistic old fart with vintage books tries to roam around the world with a pragmatic and grounded singleton as if they lived in 'the good old times from the books' kicking the asses of bad guys. Instead of a militia, they look like funny hobos disguised as comedy soldiers in a TV sketch. 'Modern', real life events hit the hipster back. Literally, up to the point seeing the singleton lecturing him over and over after several clashes with the world. Everyone laughs.

dmd3 hours ago
russellbeattie3 hours ago

What does it say about me that I've only actually read 14 of the 56 authors in the second list [1] as an adult (i.e. by choice)? I know of quite a few, but haven't read most of them.

Here's my list (++ indicates more than 1):

  Fitzgerald
  Hemingway ++
  Shakespeare ++
  Christie ++
  Brown ++
  Dickens
  McCarthy ++
  Wodehouse ++
  Steinbeck ++
  Stoppard
  Kafka
  Conan Doyle ++
  Seuss (of course) ++
  Lee
A missing classic author is Robert Louis Stevenson - all his books are amazing, even 150 year later.

If you've read more than one Dickens novel, you have my deepest respect.

1. https://www.the-fence.com/all-possible-plots-ii/

crtified2 hours ago

Humanity would be a pretty bland experience if everybody universally read the same toplist of influences. Some may aspire to study The Classics at Oxford, but to me that sounds like a nightmare of deprivation.

Accordingly I see your balanced, partial foray into those classics as a positive. It shows you're an individual bespoke personality with broader influences. We won't know which of the modern works we read are future classics - that'll come in hundreds of years.

troupe1 hour ago

I would argue that a shared corpus that everyone has read is a key foundation to a society with rich and nuanced social intercourse. That doesn't mean everyone has read the same books, but there would be significant benefits in kids coming out of high school or college having all read 50 or 100 of the same great books (plus anything else they wanted to read).

I've had the pleasure of listening in on some discussions from high-school students that study classics meeting each other for the first time. Their discussions tend to be very different from what you'd hear from a typical high-school student. While other students might share the language, the ones who have read the same 50 or so great books tend to have a shared vocabulary of ideas at their disposal that doesn't seem to be there without the shared books.

chadcmulligan3 hours ago

A friend of mine has been reading Ulysses since 2022, I've stopped asking him about it.

motohagiography3 hours ago

I miss literary fiction but with age my weakness for a point has become an all consuming vice.

PlunderBunny4 hours ago

Someone do Michael Moorcock.

bryanrasmussen4 hours ago

due to my being saddled with the British National debt it turns out that a loner of a dying race must set out on a morally ambiguous journey through all reality, killing everyone he meets except for a thinly disguised Sancho Panza - Volumes 1 through 119.

bryanrasmussen4 hours ago

due to my having accidentally stolen the brown acid from Alan Moore, who you probably suspected I might actually be for some years, in Volume 120 loner from a dying race meets other loners from other dying races in future and merges into 1000 limbed kaiju and is forced to eat the soul of Sancha Panza.

on edit: due to having eaten the brown acid I stole I forgot how to spell words like eldritch and Alan and have edited one of them in a new edition of my previous work to undo the typo introduced in the acid-addled version.

bryanrasmussen4 hours ago

due to coming down from previous trip I realized that racism has infected fantasy like a virus, and the only way forward is poorly disguised Gormenghast pastiche.

on edit: thinly veiled threat to write 500 more comments on this issue in the next few months.

+1
bryanrasmussen4 hours ago
egypturnash4 hours ago

clearly you have read a significant portion of the Saga of the Eternal Champion.

Lance_ET_Compte2 hours ago

LOL!